| The grass grew high, I laid down. |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|01:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
Sometimes I feel like doing nothing for the rest of my life but lying in bed.
I also wonder if I didn't have a dog to let out to pee if I would just allow this to happen.
I quit my job.
Again.
I hate retail and I feel stupid trying to make people buy things they don't need.
I need to find a job that HELPS people instead of one that encourages them to spend their money on USELESS shit.
Where will I find this job?
I'm going to decorate a tree tomorrow with little to no enthusiasm. I will NOT listen to Alvin and The Chipmunks Christmas carols while doing it, either.
I feel absolutely directionless. This is not helping the intensifying desire to stay in bed forever.
Kelli: update your journal.
Christine: Hey! |
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| And I know what must change, Fuck my face. Fuck my name, They are brief and false advertisements. |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|12:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
What a hard month November's turned out to be.
I knew it would be when I didn't like the picture on my calender.
I hated it so badly that I had to rip it off entirely and now I just have an empty picture-less homework-filled month of November.
Fucking November. I always thought March was the hardest but then I won a car during March and got a puppy so now March is awesome. But November, man oh man, I need to win a house or something.
The worst part is that its not even snowing. I know thats fucked up because snow is ucky to the max, but if you don't have snow and you don't have sun you have gray blah days over and over again.
And when you're learning about excel spreadsheets and thinking about why some people can't figure out that the sun'll come out tomorrow, on a monday morning in class, gray is pretty much the worst it can get.
But I like confining my bad days into time periods like months, because then when December 1st comes along, even if nothing feels better, its December and November is over, and therefore I must feel better.
I couldn't be less enthused about Christmas if I tried. My mom put our tree up the other day and told me to decorate it whenever I was ready. I do NOT want to decorate a fucking tree this year. But I will. And I'll turn my Christmas lights in my room on every single night.
I miss being a teenager sometimes. But just the good parts. The parts where you could stay out till 5 in the morning just driving around with friends ( kelli ;) ), with the sole intention of staying up late enough to eat mcdonalds breakfast as soon as they start serving it. And maybe smoking weed sometimes.
I quit shoppers and I could not be happier. That place went downhill fast when the old owner (who I had a mini crush on) left. It became too stressful. Thats right a stupid retail job became too stressful and caused me to have a complete mental breakdown. How'd ya like them apples.
I love apples.
I also love coffee again. For a while there I had to stop drinking it cause my stomach would burn like I swallowed acid (I guess it's not that far off really) every time I drank it. But I love it again. My stomach has temporarily recovered and I am free to once again cause myself ulcers so I can stay up later.
I'm so glad I started writing in here again. It's such an amazing time waster. And I am a BIG fan of wasting my time!
But I do understand the desirability in a facebook status. It's short its to the point and not too personal, because it's so short!
But it lacks the option of emo-y vagueness that a subject line in a journal so perfectly captures. You can't have some fucked up sounding lyric as your facebook status. Well you can, but then your mom and all your aunts are like, WHATS EASY LUCKY AND FREE?? DID YOU WIN SOMETHING?
nope.
I can't stop listening to bright eyes. I realize that I'm too old to listen to this kind of shit. But I seriously can't stop, like it's all I ever want to do ever in the world and I don't know when it's going to stop.
I have a test tomorrow morning. College is easy, but tedious. It's like having to write 300 short book reports about picture books. Its easy, but a fucking pain in the ass.
And today, while studying about marketing, one of the things we have to remember is that the Burger King slogan, "Have it your way" is one of the most successful things like, ever.
Yeah. College<University. Never EVER thought I would make that fake mathematical comparison.
I'm going to bed.
p.s. I spent a good 10 minutes just perusing the mood list to decide how I felt. I decided on Blah. |
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| but now i've got to crawl to get anywhere at all (im not as strong as i thought) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|11:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
today i came to school an hour and a half early for class accidentally and so i sat on a bench and googled things while listening to two people have a conversation about how "homo's" aren't politically correct. instead of shooting myself i decided to just drink my coffee and write in my journal.
i had an annoying weekend full of socially retardedness (and for a change, not on my part) |
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| it came to my ears in the goddamn loveliest melody |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|02:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
tonight was new moon night
i wasnt as excited as i was for twilight
before twilight i had dreams for weeks about it...not about the movie or the book themselves but about being in a movie theatre and watching the movie and being really happy
it was better than twilight for sure
there were no jingle bells when the vampires sparkled for one thing
it confirmed for the 10000th time what i already know..
im totally a sadist
edward cullen getting the shit kicked out of him by dakota fanning= hot
i have problems
my dog is so mad at me
she gets so mad when i stay up too late
she sits on my bed staring at me and growling at me
she wants me to come to bed
i have to wake up early tomorrow so i should go to bed but i am not tired
lately ive been staying up way too late (i think its contagious?)
all i do is watch you tube videos and google band information on wikipedia
ive learned more in the past week staying up late then i did in all of university
thats a lie
ive been wearing my mood ring lately and i fucking love it i love looking down and having it be blue or green or BROWN! its exciting.
matts birthday is on saturday and i dont have a fucking present yet
i dont get to go to omaha because of fucking christmas
im going one day, just to see what all the fuss is about
ive been reading my old entires in here and i used to be so funny, what the hell happened?
now im just boring and i state facts and then skip lines
thats a fact
ill get better ;)
p.s. i like to be able to pick my mood out of a nice lengthy list on here. i dont even know what mood im in until i see it there on the list and im like, oh right im gloomy today |
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| you're the yellow bird that i've been waiting for |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|12:13 am] |
i havent written in an online journal in a long time
i had nothing to say that couldn't be summed up in one short, sarcastic sentence on another more recent more popular social networking site
but i hate facebook because it scares me more and more everyday
everytime i look at it all i can think of is deleting it because i don't want people i dont know knowing me, even if what they know is a lie that rhymes
im going to retreat to lj. its safer and i know that only about 4 people will ever read it.
so the other day i found out another ex friend killed themselves. i never thought when i was younger that i would know two people my age who actually took their own lives
when i think back to my death obsessed 15 year old self (i like saying 15 because thats when it started and it sort of lets me pretend that thats where it ended) i want to hug her and punch her at the same time. which is pretty much how i always feel about myself
i never though of death being so permanent so real and so, so sad. i knew that it was sad i guess but there was always that sick kind of feeling like also maybe it wasnt sad, you know? like it was brave.
then all those twisted little kid delusions ended so fast when i got that call
my grandmas shaking voice at midnight "courtney are you ok? where are you?"
my ironic assumption "gaga whats wrong? is sean there or something??"
"why would you say that" interrupted by the police
"are you ok. where are you."
sean barron has passed away and we needed to make sure you were safe.
goodbye legs hello floor.
ever since then its been a fucking joke those daydreams about dying. once you're gone you're gone and that the ONE thing that i really think neither of them ever understood (because until them neither did i). there is no honor or bravery or like, credit. you don't get any credit for it.
you're just gone.
and everyone is mad and sad and they avoid saying your name for years to come
so my sick daydreams turned into nightmares that wont ever end
in all of them it turns out its just a bad joke
there you are bothering me again, calling too much, giving me mean looks
but im not mad anymore, im just relieved and a little bit skeptical
two months and no one even knew. now its privileged information. of a sensitive nature.
and now when i think of you i won't remember how rude you sometimes were or how you laughed all i will remember is that you died alone in freezing cold bathtub
and you're in those nightmares too now
joking with me about your plan to make everyone sad but here you are ha ha ha
and i wake up and i can't cry
and its not a joke. its no laughing matter. and i TOLD you that we take these things seriously now.
when i drive past your street i think of your mother that night when i asked her where you were, no one could find you, we were worried
she had no idea. and i think that maybe she never will. maybe thats why its been 2 months.
i tried to help you
even if it was not what you wanted i tried
everyone did at one time
everyone always tries to help and i think that sometimes makes it worse
adds fuel to a sick selfish fire (i know it does)
but its your choice. "its my life and i can end it if i want to."
i guess thats what i never understood. it's not just your life, it belongs to everyone who's ever known you. every person i've never heard of writing memories on a webpage.
i thought i understood it when i was younger. the ease the attention the freedom the glory.
but i know now. its none of it. its only bullshit.
a big fucking ball of bullshit
just like me.
and so lately ive been thinking of drinking. and listening to sad songs only. and covering it all up with laughs. sarcasm and bad jokes. but that was always your forte. and maybe that was part of your problem, and so i won't make it mine. and i'll write in a journal and tell all of my friends and everyone i meet that im having a bad fucking day and my friend died and its horrible.
every day i realize how fragile we are. how a crumbling building or soul can take us so easily. and these days i can't be in old buildings. and sometimes when the stress is too much i cant breathe and my hands start to tingle like they did that day. and the bravery and made up melancholy has turned into anxiety and i think about the room collapsing on top of me and underneath me at the same time. i think about what i'll do when i get sick? and in attempt to prevent things that might be out of my control i sing happy birthday more than once. i wash my hands too long and with water thats too hot.
the obsession has really just transformed. from intense curiosity and desire to fear and panic.
i wish i could talk to you about death. hear your thoughts on it now. |
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| i was your silver lining but now i'm gold. |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|11:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | rilo kiley - silver lining | ] |
so yeah, livejournal.
if livejournal and facebook were in a dual of some sort, lj would win. why? because you can have lyrics as your title. duhh.
end nerdiness.
Matt is in alaska. this has nothing to do with me resurecting my livejournal. cough.
who goes to alaska? matthew david lazy beatty thats who.
its going to be 4 years in september. i might as well just start signing my name courtney karen beatty right now.
ive already picked out my childrens names and all that shit.
Charlottle and James. Beatty. I wish they could be Sutherland, i like it better than Beatty.
my dog is probably the most amazing thing ive come across in this world. that might be a little bit of an overexageration, but only a little.
she peed on my bed the other day though. not cool heidi not cool.
(i still love cats more than dogs.)
summer school is probably the worst and best invention of all time. im really into huge overexagerations tonight.
its good because its much easier than winter school. but its bad because it makes me have to leave my backyard during a beautiful summer day. its almost done though. then i have all of august off. to go to the beach. and stuff.
shoppers is ok. i actually kind of love it there. its so bright and full of things like soap and toothpaste and handcream. those are all things i love a lot and have waaaay way too many of.
and today they saved a copy of harry potter for me.
im the "cosmetic merchandiser" now. that means i set up the makeup displays you see in the stores and order stuff that cosmetics is out of, and if a customer asks me something i have to pretend i know what im talking about because i wear a cosmetics outfit.
its more money than supervisor which is why i took it, which boggles my mind because supervisor was more work and more responsibility.
my car got scratched. someone scratched my fucking car. i hate people when they are in cars.
im getting sick. which is possibly another reason for the allofasuddeniwanttoupdatemylivejournal! tonight.
and i think like really sick, im actually sure i have a fever right now. not cool.
i think thats all i have to say.
you have no idea how tempted i was to make my title the last line of harry potter and the deathly hollows. no idea. |
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| I WANNA KNOW, HAVE YOU EVER SEEEEEN THE RAIN??!! |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|02:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | creedence clear water revival | ] |
i haven't posted in a long time. i thought about not posting ever again. but then i thought, what if there is one AMAZING picture or one AWESOME story i have to show/tell. i can't post one picture on facebook. can i? maybe i can. but i dont really want to.
nothing is new. i like matt, shopping, sociology and snow boots.
im going to be 21 in like 2 weeks. this is exciting? i use a question mark because it is only sort of exciting. i would say it is a mixture of emotions. 1/3 exciting 1/3 retarded 1/3 scary. yes, retarded IS an emotion. i feel it often and i know kelli does too because i can see it in her face sometimes.
have you ever seen the rain? i wanna know.
i have to go to summer school all summer this year. im actually really ok with it. i never do anything in the summer anyways. i sleep all day and sometimes get sunburned.
by the way, im totally ok with being pale now. i've dealt with the fact that my skin won't accept any pigment except pink. it used to actually genuinely upset me sometimes and i would be so jealous of other, more sun-inclined skinned people. but now, in my old age, i have realized, shit, if kristen dunst dosent care, neither do i.
so now i wear sunscreen every day of my life.
i might be getting a dog. if i can find one i like. and that stays under 6 pounds its whole life. me and matt are going to yorkdale mall to look at them tomorrow. i applied to adopt chi-wow-wows at the aurora animal shelter but i didn't get them. maybe because i can't spell it.
i made all my valentines today. they look fucking awesome and i am such a nerdly nerd loser.
so everyone look for something special on your doorsteps on V-Day!
end. |
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| baby, it's cold outside. |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|08:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jessica simpsons holiday album | ] |
Everyone is cordially invited to dinner at my house for Christmas.
You have to bring something to eat or I'll sick my cats on your ass.
There will be christmasy movies and eggnog. Bring movies if you want to.
After dinner we iwll be making a gingerbread house. yay!
Dress pretty.
It's on December 15th at my house. We will eat around 6.
Be thur or be squrrr. |
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| when to let go. |
[Nov. 24th, 2006|02:33 am] |
so it's been a year.
i still don't know what to say or where i would even start to figure out what to say.
although my ideas about it have changed, it still makes me cry. i don't even know exactly what im crying about.
it's still such a sore subject. people start talking about their old boyfriends, i get nervous i might have to talk about mine. peolple start talking about highschool and i somehow completely forget it, leave out that part.
and then his dad. not even a year after him.
my mom always knows what to say.
it's a fucking tradgedy and i wish i didn't have to remember it. |
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| baby don't go away, come here. |
[Nov. 22nd, 2006|01:40 am] |
today was matt's birthday. it was exciting. i reminded him it was his birthday a million and 41 times. he likes to pretend he is too manly to have birthdays.
19 years ago today at 8:57 in the morning he was born and his mother told me he was a very ugly little baby.
he got his first Real Cowboy Shirt from me for his birthday.
when i went shopping i thought in my head "does this look like it is brokeback enough? hmmm..."
and i guess i know my brokeback because he loved it.
he is now a little bit closer to his dream of one day becoming a cowboy.
when he was little, he was obsessed with the Black Stallion.
there is still a poster from the movie in his basement.
the character in it's name was Alec and he used to say to his mom and dad "dont call me matthew, call me alec." this is beyond adorable.
he also got a heather gray american apparel hoodie.
danielle, now you and matt can be twinz!
i bought matt a hat because he is never properly equiped for winter, again because he is far too manly to wear hats or mittens.
but this year i will force him to be warm and cozy.
at least his head, because he is still planning on wearing converse shoes all winter.
sometimes i like to try to make my writing more coherant and less all over the place by starting a new line after every period.
im cool.
we went out for dinner tonight.
he drank his first legal beer and guess what
THE WAITRESS DIDNT EVEN FUCKING CARD HIM.
when i think about it now, on saturday at danielles bday no one got carded at that club.
why? do we all honestly look old now? cause ahh. weird.
i lost my lighter now i cant light any candles in my room. and i have one that smells like "fresh laundry." and it really does.
and i can't light it.
i am excited about saturday. does anyone want to go out for dinner somewhere first? |
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| DONT DREAM IT, BE IT. |
[Nov. 1st, 2006|10:18 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | rose tint my world - rocky horror | ] |
halloween at the phoenix was funnnn!
except for the edge plays the worst music in the world and good music was only playing the "retro room."
everyone looked really awesome and hot. even you kelli. im sure Cocainey McAids thought so too. and i KNOW l.b. did. im sorry i was mean to you the next morning. but i am an evil whore when im asleep.
they were supposed to play the omen yesterday in my class and instead they played some movie about feminisim so me and matt left early.
last night me kelli and matt went to see the rocky horror picture show. i wish i had dressed up! FUCK! i wanted to and i tried on corsets at the mall yesterday but then i was like, well what if no one else is dressed up. but then EVERYONE WAS. i was pissed. but it was still awesome. my camera was out of batteries so i didn't get any pictures. not that it matters because WE WERENT DRESSED UP. we should all go next year.
i wish halloween came more than once a year.
i want to put up my christmas decorations RIGHT NOW. |
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| you shouldnta done dat...hes justa boi |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|01:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The MisShapes - Bitch | ] |
i like southpark. i think that sums up who i am and ever will be able to become as a person. and im ahkay with that.
jenny lewis= awesome. sparkley dresses+ dancing+johnathan rice+ wearing cowboy boots= a "hot damn" kinda good time.
dance cave = awesome. i like dancing. and im OKAY with drinking a little. even though im like some kind of creepy speedy little rat when i drink. darting around people and looking at them smiling through my long tangly yellow rat hair.
i want to go to the boat this saturday. kelli you should come because you were the one who wanted to go since last year and told me about it. you shouldnta done dat.
halloween= better be awesome since the past 2 years have been SHITTAY.
i have my costume. and now i have to buy a much less slutty one to wear to work. im thinking ears and a tail and be a cat. or maybe i will be a lion and just tease my hair. YEP THATS WHAT IM GOING TO DO.
theres nothing i feel like telling everyone about on here right now. and i really dont feel like resizing pictures even though i have a lot. and im not going to put them on facebook becasue facebook has become so insanely creepy due to all the people from highschool now on it.
i think i've finally started to live my life in real life and not on the internet and im really liking that. |
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| October. |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|01:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the long blondes | ] |
i have been working so much lately! i am rich but so bored!
i want to go shopping to spend my riches, but i have nothing to buy. i need a coat actually. a winter one. maybe a black one. but that's really boring so maybe a different colour.
maybe my posts are really boring, maybe.
the science of sleep was amazing and i want to see it again.
j-lew saturday. im really glad the guest list has changed. *cough.*
speaking of bitchy strategically placed *coughs,* im talking to kelli about holding grudges.
we have determined that she lets go of things to easily, and then gets hurt by people again.
i, on the other hand, NEVER let go of them, and then end up bundling balls of bitchiness inside me, and letting them go at not-so-random intervals.
we did not reach any kind of conclusion. except that "i just want people to be nicer to eachother" and "too bad it won't happen"
i love my october picture on my calender. its leaves. lots of them. and a road, lined with trees. i want to go for a walk on the road so badly. but it's in peacham, vermont. le sigh.
kelli is going to save the sharks. i am 100% behind her. but i am just saying, communism looks good on paper.
i am going to try to fix something in the world too. i just have to pick something. i have to think of something that makes me really fucking mad about the world. i will get back to you about this.
i think everyone should try to change/fix one thing in the world in their lifetime. if everyone did this, a lot of things could be changed.
thanksgiving is on monday. im not as excited as i usually am. i don't know why. maybe it's because im not hungry right now so the idea of eating so much turkey makes me kind of sick.
i have to get my halloween costume this week!
i want to dye my hair brown. what else is new. |
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| hanging with your fashionable whores |
[Sep. 29th, 2006|12:42 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | clap your hands and say yeah! - details of the war | ] |
"i live like a little rat"
i do too.
i am excited because tomorrow, it is the weekend. no matter what, fridays will always excite me and sunday nights will always make me nervous. it is burnt into my brain forever.
were going to see the science of sleep tomorrow.
from now on, my little mouse mood icon will always be bitchy. because i always am. for life. i am a bitch4lyfe. and now my poor, little mouse will also be forced to be forever a big bitchy bitch. |
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| when they really get to know you they will run. |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|04:02 pm] |
i want to go party at misshapes. ALAS, i am not cool enough, not even a little.
i like school, a loh. and i like my friends, a loh. and im really excited about halloween even though i know its more than a month away.
i went to fire and ice for dinner on friday night with kelli, alana, and joe. it was ok. not my cup of tea. and it was 20 dollars. but i missed everyone. A LOH.
kelli: wake UP you lazy mother fucker.
alananananananana. i need to come in to try on costumes. can i do that? i think i can. i need to come in soon since you already got yours and there was only one left. and i need to buy some fur for matt. do you even sell fur?
jenny lewis is next weekend and im excited. !
Feist is awesome. i want to see her live.
i should go to something more productive. |
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| the grey goose got the girl feelin' loose |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
so it turns out i don't start school until next week.
which is good because then maybe i can avoid all the "omg did you hear someone got stabbed?"
i go to a ghetto school and sometimes, people get stabbed. that's just all there is to it.
this weekend is v fest. and maybe weakerthans on friday? if it's not only for u of t students.
today at my work there is a supervisor meeting. and there will be hot chocolate and muffins. and we get paid for 3 hours. even though it will only take maybe half an hour.
i like my work sometimes. a lot. even if there is highschool like drama right now. (who am i kidding i love that too)
i wish i had a car right now. there is stuff i need to do!
last night i got hives. why? |
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| they only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|02:13 am] |
im a lot less bitchy today.
maybe it's because i can't stop listening to sir mix alot.
goddamn i wish i had a huge round ass.
the comic convention is this weekend and i think i'm the only one not going. because it's my moms birthday and i'm going to a cottage with her and others. and because i fucking hate comics.
i want some new pants. i have no pants?
tomorrow (later today) i'm going to the ex with matt. fun times.
that's the end of this entry. why do i write in this journal anymore? i talk to everyone who reads it almost every day now. hmmmmm. |
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| all you little kids seem to think you know just where it's at |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|08:36 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the white stripes - i think i smell a rat | ] |
today i touched a chinchilla, a rabbit, a hedgehog, and a pony. and i saw a lot more animals but didn't touch them. it was a good day.
it was my cousins 5th birthday. i was the official face painter, and matt was the official tatoo artist for 20 five year olds. (we gave matt the easy job, they were just stick on tatoos.)
one boy asked to be a gorilla. OK.. what does a gorilla look like?? BLACK! THEY LOOK ALL BLACK! am i not right? i am! so i painted his whole face black. he was happy. but everyone made fun of my lovely gorilla paint job.
i realized this past week that there's just no winning with some people. i also realized that i have a problem, where even if i don't like someone, i feel the need to try and make them like me. this is bad and stupid. and it has caused me a lot of bullshit in life. but then i had a talk with matt, and he brought up some really good, important points about people. and now i just don't care. and i might even be glad i'm not the best of friends with everyone in the world. sometimes, you're just better off without some people.
so from now on, if i don't like you, i'm not going to pretend to be nice anymore.
and that's all i'll say about that.
does everyone know that this is the last week of august and therefore also the last week of summer?
i can't wait for the leaves to start turning. i want a new/better camera so i can take pictures that aren't shitty and blurry.
i know my schedule for school now. i go mondays, tuesdays, and wednesdays. and i have a class with matt. i enjoy going to the same school as him, because on really cold days, he's really warm.
right now i have a tatoo of a lion on my hand. a male lion.
i have to clean my room and do some laundry because all my clothing is dirttttay. |
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| when ya gonna ring it? |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|03:05 pm] |
last night was interesting.
fun.
i hate assholes. really, i hate them.
ummm. everyone is working today and im not. this is rare. i think maybe we should go out for girls coffee time tonight. i will make some phone calls.
today is august 20th.
this is maybe the worst post of all time.
*EDIT*
i forgot to mention that during the party last night, i fell on my knees and some guy was kind enough to say "ohh that looked like it hurt!"
it did hurt. and it reminded me a lot of highschool, like everything else that night. |
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| it is true what you said that i live like a hermit in my own head. |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|01:09 pm] |
i don't know why the end of summer makes me feel like this. (like the world is going to end on septemeber first.)
i organized my back to school stuff today. i miss going back to school shopping, but now i realize that it IS a waste of money to buy new binders every year, when the ones you had from last year are still perfectly good. also: not all school supplies need to be pink. i'm not sure why they did in highschool. i maybe have 2 pink items of clothing now. it's a good thing.
sweaters will always be the most comforting, calming thing about fall. coats being that thing for winter.
i take back wanting to live somewhere where it's always warm and sunny. plus i think im allergic to uv rays.
matt left his pillow at my house. he brought his pillow to my house when he slept over. i find this fucking adorable.
i feel the need to tell everyone that matt is my favourite person ever in the world. my second being my cat sarah.
i've decided what i want to do when i grow up. i thought about it before but then changed my mind, but now i know for sure.
...
human resources.
i know it sounds really exciting.
it is such a grey day today. it's like the universe said "ok we know courtney is in a stupid mood today, so let's make it grey and quiet outside so that she can be in an even worse mood. good plan."
but no. i like the universe. it always seems to work things out for me. i used to think it was karma, but now im sure it's the universe. and now every time something bad happens i remind myself. "the universe will work itself out" i heard that somewhere and i don't remember where but it's true. it will. i wish everyone could know that.
i sound kind of crazy.
i am though, soooo.
what am i going to do until 5 o'clock?
i'm going to v-fest in september. and jenny lewis sometime soon i don't know when, matt knows.
i want a new job. this is hard. but i'm going to try. |
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kort_knee's journal